be clingy!
what if i never left the side of Jesus? what if i only clung on harder, pulled in closer? what if i believed Him whole-heartedly when He says “I am willing” and then clung by His side and let the rest go?
“I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” –Luke 5:13
the man with leprosy asked Jesus if he would be willing to heal him. Jesus said “I am willing.” Jairus watched as people cut the line, watched as a bleeding woman seemingly took his promise. yet, he didn’t let go–he didn’t give up on Jesus. jairus knew that Jesus was his only hope. and so he clung on. he stood by Jesus’ side even after his daughter died. and of course, Jesus was faithful.
it was one of my first trips to Haiti when i was 16 years old. our team was stationed in Thomassique for a night. marci gathered a few of us to hand out some shoes and clothes in the street a couple yards away. i grabbed a pair of new target sandals, a womans 9 or 10. the second i walked outside the gates, a little girl of about 9 years old grabbed on to me and asked for the sandals. i wanted to wait to see if i could find a woman who would actually fit into them, so i reluctantly told her “not yet.” she didn’t let go, though. she respected me and instead grabbed my free arm, deciding to just stay by me, just in case. and i thank Jesus that she did. within minutes of us reaching the street, a crowd swarmed and i was being pulled at and grabbed at and shouted at in every direction. i heard marci yell, “let’s get out” and i dropped what i was holding into the mass and looked down only to see the same little girl staring up at me. i pushed the sandals into her little frail hands and squirmed my way back to safety. that girl followed me around the rest of the day. she chased after our truck for two miles (in her new oversized sandals of course) and held my hand while our team walked miles around the surrounding community. i can honestly say that if she had not choose to hold on to my dress, even after i said no, even after the crowd swarmed, even after other people started grabbing at her promise, i would have given the sandals to someone else. but she was relentless. she stayed by my side and did not let go. and i am so thankful she was the one who got the sandals.
i think about that child a lot. i think about her respectful relentlessness. her gratitude. her joy. her light. the way she simply asked for the sandals. and kept asking. and then received them, but kept by my side. the way that she knew she needed those shoes. i think about how lucky i am that i will never be desperate for a pair of oversized target sandals. but how i wish that i was. i wish that i was that desperate for Jesus. i want to be that convinced that He is what i need. and i want to be so relentless to the point where i have no other option but to cling to Him.
so why do we so easily give up? move on? why don’t i boldly ask? Jesus is willing. He said so. why don’t i believe Him? and then why do i get so impatient? why can’t i wait by His side? don’t i see how much jairus learned from that day he spent begging by Jesus’ side? we so often ask half-heartedly, then stick around for just a couple minutes before throwing in the towel and deciding, “yeah, i didn’t really think that would work anyway.” but wait, what if the second you give up, go home, tail between your legs, Jesus turned around, ready and willing to deliver you? what if instead of throwing a pity party alone in your room, you could be clinging to Jesus’ side, listening and watching and waiting and experiencing all that Jesus is willing to do?
faith isn’t only in the question you ask of God. Peter had faith when he stepped out of the boat, yes; but in order to continue walking on water he had to be persistent in his faith, and keep his eyes on Jesus. and honestly, that is it. ask Jesus, believe Him when he tells you that He is willing (because He is), and then cling to His side. There is so much growing to be done in the clinging. cling to Jesus’ side until He fulfills your promise with something beyond what you could have even imagined. and after that, be thankful, search your soul, and ask again.
be clingy! Jesus loves clingy. He desires your desperation. desperation is not something to be ashamed of. it is when we finally wrap our human minds around the fact that Jesus is our only option, that He can work through our desperation. let’s live like we need Jesus as desperately as that girl needed sandals. let’s live like jairus, relentlessly clinging to Jesus, knowing He is the only way; and like peter, walking on water towards Jesus, relying on Him to keep afloat.